Feel like you’re always comparing your life to others?
I’ve been there countless times as a single woman, before I had kids, and even now as a writer.
If you’re feeling behind today, here are a few things I do to refocus my attention on what matters.
I’d stop scrolling
Girl, put down the phone. I see you scrolling! You unlock the phone to check an email, only to get sucked into social media. (I know, because I do it too!)
It’s fine at first, but as you scroll, you see something that hits harder than usual.
- The engagement announcement.
- The baby gender reveal.
- The whatever-you-prayed-for-but-God-gave to-your-friend.
What felt okay before you picked up the phone now feels heavy.
We are bombarding ourselves with highlight reels, and if we’re being honest, it’s not helping our hearts.
Scrolling often feeds comparison.
I’d shift my focus
If we want to start living, we’ve got to stop looking so much at others’ lives and start paying attention to what’s right in front of us.
Let’s not miss out on the life God has for us right now.
We can put down the phone and start paying attention to what God is doing in our everyday lives—not the lives we wish we had!
I’d follow Jesus instead
“Peter turned and saw the disciple whom Jesus loved following them, the one who also had leaned back against him during the supper and had said, “Lord, who is it that is going to betray you?” When Peter saw him, he said to Jesus, “Lord, what about this man?” Jesus said to him, “If it is my will that he remain until I come, what is that to you? You follow me!”
John 21:20-23
Comparison is as old as dirt. We all do it. Even after Jesus had instructed Peter to feed His sheep (John 21:15-19), Peter wanted to know what his peer John was going to do. He wanted to know how his calling compared to John’s.
So typical! I have done this countless times!
But Jesus’ instruction to Peter is to follow Him, not John.
We pay a lot of attention to people we follow online. What would happen if we paid that much attention to following Jesus?
I’d trust God’s timing
…following Jesus means surrendering our lives to Him, becoming His disciples, and putting His teachings into practice.
It also means trusting our Heavenly Father with our timelines and milestones.
He never promised us an easy life (ask Job about that!), but He did promise to be with us through it all.
Just because we feel behind, and just because our life doesn’t look like someone else’s doesn’t mean we are behind in the timeline and story God is writing in our life.
“Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.”
Psalm 139:16 (ESV)
I’d ask these questions
Too often, we gauge our success by whether we are keeping up with others.
But rather than asking,
“How can I catch up?”
We could ask,
“Lord, what do you want ME to do?”
“What do you have for ME in this season?”
If we are asking the latter questions, we can be confident that we aren’t behind in life because we are walking in step with Him, being obedient to what He has for us right now.
The future is made up of a lot of todays. Let’s be faithful today.
I’d celebrate milestones
Celebrate your victories and what God HAS done in your life.
When I was single, I struggled to buy baby shower gifts because I wasn’t where I wanted to be in life. I celebrated with friends while also feeling behind.
But I also celebrated the opportunity to go on two mission trips to Costa Rica where I shared my testimony, grew in my faith, and made new friends. I got married a decade later than I expected. My life is richer because of my experiences, even if they felt out of order chronologically.
It’s not just the usual BIG milestones that matter (graduation, marriage, babies), but all the little ones in between.
I’d be practical
Think about the parts of life where you feel behind…
Is there something within your control to change? (you want a better job but haven’t applied, you want a husband but keep rejecting decent guys who ask you out, you want to grow in your walk with God but keep choosing to grow in your walk with Netflix)
Not everything is about “waiting on God,” and some things are practical and within our ability to change.
But, of course, we can be doing all the right things and still not get to where we want to be. In that case, we’ve got to trust that God’s writing a better story than we can.
I’d embrace my story
Remember, your story was never meant to look like anyone else’s.
Throughout the Bible, we see people whom God led through bizarre circumstances. Many often wondered what God was doing.
- ✨Noah probably thought he was crazy building an ark when it hadn’t even rained yet.
- ✨Hannah struggled with infertility and prayed fervently until God gave her a son.
- ✨Ruth lost her husband and moved to a foreign land before meeting her second husband.
- ✨Paul served the people he had previously persecuted.
- ✨And you—what’s your story so far?
Life isn’t about getting ahead, but about trusting God in each season, because He is still leading, even when we don’t understand.
Will you embrace your God-given story, even in the chapters that don’t make sense?
